Our monthly update (new photos of Ryan), which we had expected to receive by Monday or Tuesday of this week, is apparently going to come later than usual this month. We've heard that the director of our agency's Taiwan adoption program, who forwards the updates from the central office, is currently in Taiwan meeting with the foster care agency there, so maybe things are off schedule because of that. We did receive Ryan's monthly measurements -- at 8 months, he is 27" long and weighs 19 lbs.!

Meanwhile, several other families who received their referrals 1-2 months after us have already brought their babies home, or have received their final rulings and will be traveling by mid-June. Although it's frustrating that our process is taking longer, we know it's just a matter of random luck that their cases must have been assigned to a faster judge than ours, and we wish them all the best and look forward to reading about their experiences. There are a few other families with our agency who are in the same situation that we are (received some of the earliest referrals but still waiting for rulings and travel dates), and we hope good news comes their way soon too.

Whenever I get frustrated with the waiting and the seeming randomness of the process, I remind myself that there is a reason for everything, even if it's not apparent yet. I often think back to last summer, when, after losing a second pregnancy, what upset us the most was that no one could give us a _reason_ for it. A few months later, out of the blue, Rob and I both (independently) experienced a strong sense that we wanted to adopt a baby, so we ended the pregnancy attempts and started the adoption process, and the moment we received Ryan's referral, that reason we had been looking for was suddenly obvious. We knew that everything that had happened was meant to lead us to him, and we wouldn't change any of it even if we had the power to. So, just like there turned out to be a reason for our losses, there must also be a reason that we'll be home in June, or that we'll be in Taiwan in July -- or whenever it is that we will be going. This makes me feel like rereading A Prayer for Owen Meany, one of my favorite novels, which is ultimately all about there being a reason for everything. (Great book, with an unforgettable ending -- I think I'll pack it for the long flight to Taiwan!)

All that being said, it's still hard not to wonder every 10 minutes when we'll receive our final ruling. It won't be any earlier than June 15, and could be a few weeks later than that. To make sure we don't forget to enjoy life in the present during this final stretch of the process, we're planning to fill our weekends in June with activities that we'll have a lot less time for once we become parents, like dinners at some of our favorite restaurants which we don't get to much anymore since they're out of the way from our current home. We'll also get to see two of the bands I'm currently obsessed with, Great Lake Swimmers and The National, who both happen to be in town this month. (Incidentally, Rob has dismissed _this_ as the above-referenced "reason" we were meant to be home in June :-) But it's nice to have these little things to look forward to while we wait for the big moment when we will become a family of three!

We'll post news and photos as soon as we receive any.